She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
