I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
