His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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