Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
