I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize