i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
