so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
