So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
