Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize