I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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