Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
