I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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