Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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