If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
