listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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