And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize