youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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