Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
