I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize