so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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