how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
