Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
