peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
