he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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