Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So many bounce houses so little time
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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