Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
