I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
