just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize