i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
