so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
