Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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