No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
