I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
