Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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