we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
