Already got asked if we're dating
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize