when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
