I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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