In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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