she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
