I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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