I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
