Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
