Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You're like the curious george of whores
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
