is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
