Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
