you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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