For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
