I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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