he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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