we're chasing vodka with high fives
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
