Betty ford says i'm here all night
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
