see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
