My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
