I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
