Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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