well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think I just sharted jello shots
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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