I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
